On March 17, 2006, after several weeks of increasing pain, I collapsed on the floor of my bedroom unable to move. After a few days of testing, it was discovered that my 4th/5th Lumbar vertebra had ruptured severely and pieces of it was putting pressure on nerves as they floated through my spinal column. It was excruciating pain and numbness all at the same time. I was literally in bed for months, had 2 surgeries and slowly began to improve. I spent a lot of time in the Word during that season. God taught me so much and revealed Himself in new and deeper ways. And looking back…. it was an amazing blessing that I honestly say – I wouldn’t trade. I found a Strength in Him, I didn’t know. I experienced a Rest in HIM, I did not know. I tasted a goodness of HIM… I had never known. It is true that as God walks us through trials, tribulations, difficulties and pain… and as we FIX OUR EYES ON HIM… we do indeed experience a depth of HIM — we otherwise would never know.
Last week, I was sick in bed for 5 days. Again, not leaving my bed. As I laid there I recalled the long season of confinement and just how faithful God was during that time years ago. And, as I am going through the Old Testament, I see over and over how the Israelites would need to be reminded of God’s faithfulness, of His promises, of His love. I realized… I had forgotten. I had grown into a whining Israelite… WHY GOD? Have you brought me out of Egypt so that I might die???? OH that I might have orange juice and a nice thick steak…. Oh that we were having Saturday Morning Breakfast all together…. Oh that I might have my Tempur-Pedic bed… Oh, that I could sit and pray with my friends… OH, that I could read a book with my babies…. Ok, a little different whining…. but whining all the same, whining that was growing out of forgetfulness.
The last 28 hours has taken my breath. Honestly, I’ve had to remember to breathe. Sitting by the phone awaiting updates and texts. This time my memory spiraled back 5 years ago when Ruthie was in the hospital, then even further, 24 years ago as we awaited test after test with my own baby girl.
Little Naomi is indeed… a little thing. There has been a concern that has continued and increased her short little life. And, at just 2 1/2 months, she is undergoing tests to determine what, if anything, is causing this lack of weight gain and concern. So my kids’ lives have hit that “world stopping” mode that a hospital can do. That exhausting and long drawn out process of a hospital stay. The sounds, the smells, the waiting, the shift changes, the reading, the waiting, the vital checks, the waiting, the visitors, the waiting….
I have an amazing Daughter in Law… I actually have two of them! But the mama that is sitting and waiting has been diligent to keep this Nanny informed… often informing that there is nothing to inform. Over the last couple months she has inquired about family history, she’s shared her concerns and we’ve prayed together across the miles. Now, she’s walking through unknown territory and she is walking it holding the hand of her husband, and, her LORD. You see, she is good at remembering. Remembering HIS faithfulness. His Goodness. His LOVE. I hear it in her voice, I see it in her eyes. I’ve watched her faith in Jesus grow to levels I wish I had known at that stage of my life. I see a trust, a rest and I see a memory of all God has done in her life. My kids trust their GOD… and so do I.
My prayer is to share with you soon that we simply have a little tiny petite and healthy girl… but for today, as I am finding the long long way from home… so very very far, I am asking that you keep our little Naomi in prayer. Keep her brothers and sister, her daddy and her mommy in prayer. I am grateful beyond words that beside her is her other grandma… her Mimi… as well as her Aunts and Uncles and great grandparents. Please, pray for all of us to remember.. to remember that our God, Whose thoughts of us, of Naomi, outnumber the grains of sand… pray that we remember HE IS FAITHFUL!!!!!