When you are desiring with all your heart to be obedient to God… Even desiring… to desire that…
I so pray that what I want communicated here is heard and that you join us in prayer and thanksgiving!
“Hear my cry, oh Lord… And lead me to the Rock that is higher than I”
The week has been emotional for me.
First….Our team members who have been serving here with us are about to leave. I can’t help but wonder if I represented Christ well, if I was an encouragement to them while they were here in this far away land. Have I spurred them on?
Being far from family, missing yet another grandbaby’s birthday this week, I can tell you it has not gotten one margin easier, but having these guys here has certainly been a blessing in that respect. Having some family a bit closer.
Second….I’ve been dealing with many ‘business’ tasks. Shopping for and ordering feed, getting material printed, tweaking our Auto Insurance to lower the price, even trying to buy something in the super market, but refused at the check out counter because the price hadn’t been entered into the system. Things are done MUCH differently here than in the States. The business mindset and procedures of the two different countries couldn’t be further apart. Basically, however, the result of this has been a very clear demonstration of the condition of my heart. I… am a very self centered person and I basically want what I want…when I want it.
Third….This is the time of the year we have many large expenses. We tried budgeting but found that difficult as we tried to meet all the needs and expenses that would arise. The Hen Project is an easy 8 months from being self sustaining. The church is just beginning and Pastor Rueben is in the process of relocating his family to Kebabe. There are discipleship needs, there are plans to be made for next term, there are 600 more hens to be purchased. There are men we will need to assist as they begin teaching in their villages.
When it gets where I cannot pay the guys, I get anxious. I confess. Our insurance is due, we have a trip to Nairobi this weekend, our car is inching to make it to her mechanic in Nairobi for, at the least, definite shocks and suspensions. My permit needs renewing, our drivers license and AA membership need renewing. We have 600 hens ordered and being nursed for delivery in the next 4 weeks. We have two more hen houses to build. And I have a beautiful young girl I feel strongly about helping into nursing school. A 4 year program at a mission hospital that will cost in total… Just under $6000. Despite our regular support and recent unexpected blessings that has helped us to continue, we are still way short.
These are just some of the things that roll around. Then I begin thinking we need to scale back. Cancel the hens. Limit the classes. Hold Reuben off. Scratch Mary going to school. I get nervous and find it very challenging to rest on that Rock. I begin to question The Lord… What do You want us to do? Are YOU leading all this or is it our thoughts.. Our plans? We seek You constantly… If You are leading… Won’t You provide? Maybe…. Maybe none of this is You… Maybe we pushed this? Did we?
If given half a moment… My thoughts become an out of control spin.
And then… BUT GOD…. Who is rich in mercy…. Leads me out to the office at the hen house. As I walk up… I hear these men… They’re worshipping!!!! They have music playing on Moses’ phone and they are singing along… “How excellent is your name Oh Lord… How marvelous is your name Oh Lord…”
They’ve decided they are going to go through a chapter in Proverbs each day, like they did at UTurn. Moses is leading this.
I literally gasped. I had to leave immediately. I was overcome with emotion. God, YOU are at work. You are showing me every day. Why… WHY do I get so anxious??? Why can’t I rest in You?
You made these men new creations! You have set their feet on solid ground and YOU have given them this opportunity to glorify You in their work. You have established this church and YOU will add to it! You have sent us here to speak YOUR Truth and You will accomplish Your purpose through that. You are faithful to complete the work YOU have started!!
My friends… Please join us in prayer for His continued provision… Pray for us to trust Him more and for wisdom to follow His lead. But… Even more.. So much more….Join us in praising God for the very obvious work He is doing. May we rest as HE leads us to a rock that is higher than I!